I recently binged Dark Souls 3 and finished what I started over five years ago. Bloodborne is the only other Soulsborne game that I’ve played all the way through, so I was looking to augment my bragging rights a bit. I knew it wouldn’t be enough to just beat the game though, so I set out to earn the platinum trophy. 85 hours and three playthroughs later, I got gud! Reflecting on my journey, I feel like a ton of elements from Dark Souls apply to real life. I’m going to brain dump them below! Hopefully I don’t sound too much like a parent desperately trying to connect with their gamer child.

1. No One Just “Gets It”

No one picks up Dark Souls for the first time and faces 0 challenge, just like no one instantly becomes successful in life. Anyone who says that Dark Souls (or life) is easy:

• Has made it easy for themselves through hard work and practice
• Actually has it easy due to a force outside themselves (like someone playing the game for them)
• Is just trying to seem cool, but they actually do believe that it’s challenging

It takes firsthand experience and trial and error to get it down. Some people are just naturally talented or pick up on stuff quicker than others, but I can promise you that no one has ever gotten DS3 or life right the very first time.

2. Failure is Required to Succeed

You will die. Well, probably a ton of times in Dark Souls and hopefully only once irl. But, as not fun as they may be, you learn way more from your failed attempts than your successful ones.

Failing gives you the opportunity to look at what went wrong or what wasn’t lined up so you an get a better sense for what to do (or not do) the next time around. Sometimes you find that the failure was out of your control (like glitching through the ground), but you just need to keep rolling with it!

I’ll say it again: no one ever gets it right the first time! You can pull so much value and insight from failure if you look at it the right way.

3. A One-Size-Fits-All Approach Doesn’t Always Work

What works like a charm in one situation may be super ineffective in another one. Some bosses and enemies in Dark Souls 3 are pretty easily bullied, meaning you can just face them head-on and R1 spam your way through. Other bosses require a more strategic, patient approach. Just when you feel like you have a handle on the game, the rules change!

In a similar fashion, life seems to like to switch things up as soon as you’re getting comfortable. Flexibility and adaptability are key.

You can try to hack and slash your way through using brute force, and you may succeed eventually, but it’s always worth it to stop and evaluate your situation if something that previously worked well is no longer delivering the same results.

4. Some Parts are a Total Grind

Sometimes you’re not the optimum level for something and it makes sense to go grind some EXP. While repetitive tasks may seem monotonous or useless, always keep the greater picture and what you’re working toward in mind.

Let’s be real here — farming covenant items was terrible, but I knew that’s what I needed to do in order to obtain the covenant items. There was honestly a bit of satisfaction in the grind as well, like getting the process down to a science. I knew exactly where to stand at the bottom of the staircase in Anor Londo to catch the first silver knight’s attention.

By the end of my farming journey, I was way more efficient with my runs. Even though it all came down to RNG, I gave myself more chances to succeed by learning the system and working more efficiently.

5. A Win is a Win, but…

Different methods yield different levels of credit. After getting him literally one hit from defeat and choking, I cheesed the Nameless King both times I faced him. But I have the same trophies as everyone else who defeated him regardless of their method.

I don’t think this is a perfect life analogy, but there’s wisdom within it. Sometimes you don’t need to go through all of the trouble and hassle to get to the same end result. However, I’m not going to brag to everyone that I conquered the Nameless King the “right” way — in fact, I’ll be the first to admit that I kited him around the map and shot my little arrows at him. I think that’s the difference. You are welcome to game the system a bit as long as you’re playing within the same bounds, but you need to question if you truly earned what you have (and if you don’t, I can promise that a bunch of other people will).

6. It’s Okay to Ask for Help

Pride can get in the way of jolly cooperation, but you shouldn’t feel afraid to summon a companion in times of need. But just like enemies scale up in difficulty when you have other players present, life can become more complicated as you tap in other people.

You need to be careful with relying on others. You should be able to stand on your own two feet and power through, and you should never rely on someone else to bring you success. The reason I stopped playing DS3 the first time was actually because I was relying too much on my high-level buddy who carried me through everything. When it came time for me to progress on my own, I had a really rough time since I hadn’t really learned the mechanics of the game. When I picked it back up, I started over entirely.

7. There’s No One Path to Victory

Dark Souls 3 presents tons of routes to the end of the game and plenty of build and loadout options to get you there. Just like life, you get to choose the path you want to pursue. We may not all have the same starting class, but we get to learn more about our strengths and preferences along the way to help us grow.

I couldn’t get parrying down, but that’s okay! I just rolled a ton.

I didn’t really mess with attunement, but that’s okay! I just leveled up strength and dexterity.

Sometimes I forgot to change my armor set, but that’s okay! I just figured out how to get through an area with my current loadout.

You’re not required to master all aspects of Dark Souls 3 to get through it. And if you really wanted to, I’m sure you could figure out a way to beat Dark Souls 3 without leveling anything.

You get to blaze the trail that works for you. Even if you’re watching a how-to video or getting life advice from someone, you get to live it out in the context that fits you.

While life isn’t quite that linear, I think it goes to show that you don’t need to be a master in all aspects to be successful and you don’t have to follow the same path as someone else to reach the same destination. You can and should make yourself aware of how other people are moving along, but you should never feel limited by what’s working or not working for someone else.

8. There’s a Ton of Power in Observation

It can be tempting to run headfirst into something, but don’t underestimate the value in taking in your surroundings.

Memorizing and timing boss moves, reading notes left by other players, watching your health and stamina, and finding items/illusory walls were all key factors in my journey of suffering. I had to force myself to slow down in all of those instances — I couldn’t just barrel through a boss fight or new area as much as I wanted to get to the next big thing.

Little details can go a long way, like knowing whether to roll to the left, right, or back from enemy attacks. Player notes also served as a great source of insight (or identification of phallic objects) from other people who had already gone through your situation.

I think the same goes for life. While you don’t want to get too caught up in the details, it’s often surprising how much clarity you can achieve by stepping back from a situation for a minute or taking a look from a different angle. And you should take in as much advice from others as you can! This certainly doesn’t mean that you should follow all of it (especially when someone tells you to jump off a ledge to find an “item” below), but it’s good to keep an open mind.

9. All That Glitters is Not Gold

Mimics.

As the saying goes, “if it seems too good to be true, it probably is.”

10. There Are Easier Games out There…

But they don’t deliver the same level of glory. If you pursue easy, lower-level challenges, you’re probably going to get easy, lower-level results. Aim for something bigger and you’re bound to get more out of it. This is not a knock on easy or casual games, as they can still be fantastic and rewarding (plus you may not be playing a game to achieve something, you may just be playing for fun, a word very foreign to the average Dark Souls player).

I’d say a similar approach can apply to life. If you want the satisfaction and fulfillment that comes from a greater challenge but are only willing to take simpler, safer paths, you’re not going to get what you want. The path of least resistance is going to take you to the rewards of least resistance — along with everyone else who tried to take the easy way.

At the end of the day, your happiness is what matters. If you’re happy with where you land on the safe, less challenging path, power to you! Don’t ever feel like you need to make yourself struggle just for the sake of struggling. But if you set your sights high for yourself, be prepared to take on bigger challenges aside fewer people.

11. Confidence is Key

I thought I was about done after trying to defeat the Abyss Watchers after like 10 attempts. I didn’t think there was any way I could do it! Although I was ready to give up and walk away, I knew that the Abyss Watchers had been defeated before by a ton of people. It was possible and I could do it if I kept trying.

Confidence will come with victories, but there always needs to be at least a part of you that will believe in you no matter what. I can’t tell you how many times I died in a boss fight because I kept trying to heal. I’d have the fight in the bag but attempt to slam Estus to be extra safe, throwing off my rhythm and always cringing when “You Died” taunted me from the screen. If I just held my ground, I’d be fine! But I doubted myself and killed all momentum.

On the flipside, be wary of overconfidence. You still need to give yourself time to observe, figure out your approach, and learn from your mistakes. Always remember where you started!

In life, I think you need to have faith in yourself and in the universe as a whole. Whether that comes from religious beliefs or just from your own beliefs, it’s comforting to believe that everything will work out one war or another in the end. If you stay the course and keep working toward what you want, it’ll come to you in some form eventually.

GGNORE

I can’t say that I would jump into a fresh DS3 character any time soon (though Elden Ring is on the horizon), but I’m thankful for my Dark Souls 3 experience. If you’re on the fence about giving it a go, you should at least try it for sure! It’s apparently not too late to get into the game either and the community is still pretty active as of right now.

Is there anything else you learned from Dark Souls 3 or another game? Share your life lessons below!